Seeing rightly

Fox:  It is only with the heart that one sees rightly… The Little Prince

At the end of most behavioral diagnostic questionnaires is an item that shifts from asking you what’s wrong with your kid to ending on what you like about them, what are their strengths.  At times in the passed I’ve been overwhelmed with everything a child can’t or won’t do, and lately I’ve been looking more at what they can.

But does always leading with strengths ultimately help the child?  Temple Grandin says she was only allowed one hour a day to endlessly spin objects.  Most of the time her mother, and later a caregiver, doggedly socialized her, to an extent modern self-advocates might consider abusive.  But she was allowed that break.  My most affected child spends most of his time on break.

(The rest of this is in fragments I might fix later)

After working with kids who suffer terribly trying to solve story problems, it was not surprising to learn some people can’t imagine images. Raising kids who are intelligent but struggle with language, similar thing. And myself, being somewhat lacking in social insight. The amazing thing is how far we get in life sometimes before we realize these things. It’s because our brains walk on like 6 feet, and we can often make up for the loss of one or two okay. 3 starts to show.

Tricia Voss I don’t think my kids have full on aphantasia, but they may have trouble turning a (language) sentence that is clearly looking for numbers into a picture. Putting it that way, you can maybe see why I get frustrated they are even asked to.

Yesterday we were having a lesson in church about Daniel, and how he had integrity despite the environment he was living in. I realized that accentuating the positive doesn’t entail ignoring the negative, it just means giving the positive more attention. This was a really big breakthrough for me. If we only pat ourselves on the backs all the time, we can’t fix what’s wrong. But if we only dwell on our failures, we have no hope. I think this is something I have been practicing, but I wasn’t aware of it.

By Foto: Jonn Leffmann, CC BY 3.0, [cropped]

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